Chelsea's · Blog

I was a bad girl yesterday. Not that kind of bad girl, so get your mind out of the gutter. I can't believe I'm about to type this, but yesterday, I peed on the indoor rug. And yes, I was the panther when it happened. It's just kind of disturbing. I've lost control before, but this was different. I need to back up and explain a few specifics about changing into the panther. It happens in seconds, so there is no pain to speak of, except for a tingle/tickle that comes from the inside out. Then there is a "whoosh" that starts in my brain and travels throughout my body. It's sort of like getting a buzz only all over and with a whiff of electricity. The first time I changed it felt like I was still me only more comfortable somehow. I don't know exactly how to explain it, but it certainly didn't last long. From then on it was like pizza ala mode nightmares. It was like a dream where you're just the viewer and can't act on anything. It was crazy. But slowly, over time, as with dreams, I began to take more control of my being and my environment. It's rather like lucid dreaming. I still can't control every action, but it's better. That's why peeing on the rug was so scary. I knew what I was doing, but I did it anyway. And then, and this is going to sound nasty, but I was the panther, remember, I had this urge to lick myself. Yes, I have done that before, (eww), AS THE PANTHER, but this time I won over the urge. I thought I was gaining more control over the panther. Maybe I am, but maybe she's gaining control over me too.

Of course that brings up another issue, speaking of the panther in the third person. She's me. Sometimes I like being the panther, (there I go again) and it's not about the power. It's about the freedom. The freedom to run, sleep and eat and not have one single worry in the world. I love that, and getting scratched behind the ear.

Francisco asked me what I thought about Witch School* and I said I would answer him in a post. Thanks to HiFranc for the link.

Anything that promotes Witchcraft, Wicca and Paganism in a positive light is fine by me and the physical school sounds cool, but I myself would not be interested in the internet courses simply because they are on the internet. Then again, I'm not that internet savvy, but someone who is may think differently. So my perspective may be slanted a little bit. They have a Live Mentor program, which is very important, so that's good. I think they are sincere and if the knowledge given is worth the efforts, then I see no problem with it. Grandma was my teacher and that human contact was very important to me. I thought she was crazy when she made me sweep the yard, but it really helped me and the odd thing is that wasn't a "Wiccan" practice. It was more of a Zen thing which told me that it's all connected, religions, the earth, everything. That worked for me, but if getting instructions from a person on the other end of a computer works for you, then go for it. It does have the advantage of getting a more diverse collective together and that is never a bad thing when you're trying to do something positive.

I did like the virtual candles, although the first one I read was of a girl praying to Bast to find her kitten. That was sad. I hope she finds it. I don't know if that answered your question, but there it is. Well, Jubal is wanting to use the computer for some game, so I better scat.

*Thanks to Jubal for putting up the link.